MY JOURNEY TO EMA
Success stories of people have always amazed me like everyone since my childhood. The way they define their success and their accomplishments have often made me ponder what is success to me and how would I define my success?
Years before, I happened to read a quote by Booker T Washington defining what is success to him. That gave me an insight to define my success and also, it gave me the confidence to believe in myself.
Since then, I define my success like this: –
Success to me is not the position or the riches I have achieved, but the obstacles I have had to overcome to achieve what I have achieved and the person who I am today.
This is my journey that has got many obstacles, painful memories and stop overs, which has helped me to define my success on its way.
A KUTTANAD GIRL
I am Manju Xavier, the eldest daughter of Late Mr. Thomas Xavier and Mrs. Rosamma Xavier, Valiyaveettil family. I was born and brought up in one of the most picturesque villages of Kerala named Pulincunnoo, in Alappuzha District.
ST. MARY’S FORANE CHURCH, PULINCUNNO, ALAPPUZHA, KERALA
I have fond memories of lush green paddy fields, beautiful rivers, snake boat races and particularly all the memories surrounding our serene Parish Church in Pulincunnoo (Popular Tamil movie Vinnai Thandi Varuvaya shooting location) which is situated on the banks of a river.
My schooling was in Pulincunnoo since my parents especially my father was against the idea of sending children to boarding school. I studied in convent schools in Pulincunnoo where the medium of instruction was in Malayalam. In the 1980s, there were no English medium schools in Primary section and more so for girls.
MY FIRST & BEST TEACHER
Despite being interested in studies, I was an average student in Primary school days. I must disclose the fact that I was a back bencher in my class. Acknowledging and realising my interest in studies, my late father helped me, preparing personal notes and guiding me to be disciplined in studies. He played a pivotal role in turning me into becoming academically proficient.
LATE MR. THOMAS XAVIER (BABYCHAN), VALIYAVEETTIL, PULINCUNNOO
Noticing my passion for studies, my father taught me the English alphabets much earlier than when we were supposed to start studying it. It was the same for Hindi language; formal Hindi classes started from class 5, but my mother was my first Hindi teacher who started teaching me earlier.
My workshops and all my classes reflect my father’s guidance and the values he has instilled in me to become a confident and a conscientious person.
Though I was blessed with many good teachers and professors during my high school and college life, their work and support were effective, only because my father had already laid a strong foundation in me academically along with moral values, during my primary school days. So, without any doubt I will say, my late father was my best teacher.
OVERCOMING THE PAIN OF GETTING BULLIED
With my father’s guidance and help, in class 2, I became the second topper in the class leaving behind many top performing students. From that day, I became a front bencher and getting punished for not studying became a thing of the past.
Though that achievement was inspiring and exciting for me and also for my family, it turned out to be a precursor to a series of most painful experiences and years in my life. For the next two years I was severely bullied by my classmates and meted out unscrupulous punishments from teachers.
Despite maintaining a fairly good academic excellence in those years, I was ruthlessly getting blamed and insulted by the teachers and even my classmates.
I come from a very conservative Catholic family. My father was a businessman and a farmer. And my mother is a homemaker. I have three younger siblings. As I mentioned earlier, my parents were against the idea of shifting us to a boarding school. But then again, they were helpless in solving those bullying incidents because teachers had taken those complaints personally. They have taken it for personal vengeance and those painful back stabbing incidents from my batchmates continued even through later years.
Seeing the pain and struggles his 7-year-old daughter was going through, my father helped me in streamlining my thoughts, frustrations and helplessness into studies since that was what I enjoyed doing that time. In reality, he was indirectly trying to help me to forgive and forget those incidents and thus he was teaching me how to move on in life.
But the scars were so deep and I dared not even look at the front gate of that school, without feeling a searing pain, since then.
It took me more than 30 years to completely get over that pain and forgive those incidents and the people who were responsible. Eventually, I started looking albeit with numbness at the front gate of that school whenever I visit my homeland. It was my conscious effort and my spiritual connect helped me in getting over those inner struggles and sufferings.
Having been a victim of bullying, it has helped me to tackle similar situations easily during my teaching career. It also gave me sufficient competence to talk about and advise people and teachers on the subject. That way I am grateful to those incidents for shaping me as I am today.
MY HANDICAP OVER LANGUAGE
Although my school education was in Malayalam medium, my father helped me in overcoming that handicap in English language, by arranging home schooling by his own English teacher who was retired from service. In those years, our teachers considered giving tuition as against the ethics of teaching and they used to discourage us going for that. Despite being not interested in giving tuitions, he agreed to give me class upon my father’s insistence.
His English teacher, we respectfully call him Vadakkekalam Sir gave me a thorough training in English Grammer. But I didn’t have the confidence to communicate in English then and I overcame my shyness when I joined for B.Ed. and later, I became more confident during my teaching experience in Masseeh Dilasa school, Uttarkashi.
Over the next few years, my proficiency over English language has improved and polished drastically albeit with the help of my husband who was born and brought up in Nigeria and was educated in a British School along with his siblings.
In 2019, I further completed French language course DELF A1 level and passed it securing A grade.
ACADEMIC EXCELLENCES
With my family’s support especially my father, my teachers and reverend sisters of Pulincunnoo convent, I became the topper of class 10 state exams in Pulincunnoo Panchayath that year.
Years later, I was the second topper in the University for my Post graduation in Physics.
I always say, it was only my spiritual connect to my Jesus and my love for Mother Mary helped me to overcome all the ups and downs during this journey. And my faith always stood firm.
It was easy for me to connect my life with the story of Phoenix Bird mentioned in the Holy Bible. It always gives me an inspiration and motivation to come out of ashes. I strongly believe, whatever I have achieved was not on my merit, but all on His Grace.
MY FIRST PUBLIC SPEAKING
My first experience of public speaking had an amusing beginning. During my school days, I wanted to be part of cultural programs but never got a chance to perform. The only chance I got was in class 3, my then class teacher who was in charge for a short period, asked me to sing a song in assembly. Other than that, I’ve never been part of any such programs during school days. Eventually I developed severe stage fright.
But when was in class 10, I was forced to give public speech by my Math teacher Sr. Vincy on Mission League during a religious procession in Pulincunnoo. During my speech, I panicked and stopped my speech midway but later completed it by reading it fully.
AN OATH MEANT TO BE BROKEN
Scared of getting into another embarrassing situation, I had decided not to give any more speeches or any such ventures onto the stage for any reasons. I was successful in holding this oath for quite some time. But as fate would have it, I was forced to break this oath when I joined for B.Ed. in St. Joseph’s Training College, Mannanam.
Becoming a teacher was not my choice. Because my dream was to become a scientist. It was my father and his family’s decision that I was forced to join B.Ed. college.
God has got great plans for everyone. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
As part of our teachers training program, we all had to participate in every cultural program and I had to give speeches, conduct and even anchor programs. The moment I realized that the training over there could help me to overcome my inner fears and phobias, I started taking in charge of many programs whole heartedly.
PIC FROM COLLEGE MAGAZINE
ST. JOSEPH’S TRAINING COLLEGE,
MANNANAM
The training I received from that college helped me to execute the responsibility of the Literary in charge for whole school and also as Physics teacher for my first job at the age of 22 in Masseeh Dilasa School, Uttarkashi and later as the Head of Science teachers in Oman Private School, Muscat at the age of 29.
All these experiences especially the training and the support from my B.Ed. college transformed me into a confident public speaker who is not scared to take up any challenges or responsibilities.
A TRAUMA FACED IN LIFE
I am married to Mr. Sajan Abraham Urumbath who also hails from a catholic family in Aluva. We have been married for more than 20 years. Like many unfortunate couples these days, we are also a childless couple, despite going through almost all kinds of infertility treatments.
Please note, being childless was definitely not our choice.
Overcoming the pain and trauma caused by the infertility and related events helped me in so many ways, to comfort many unfortunate couples like us and guiding those who are going to get married. I was also blessed to get many opportunities to empower people especially women who are in emotionally abused marriages to have mental well-being that help them to live in hope and peace
These experiences helped me and gave the competence to speak about infertility, the agony the couples especially the women are facing while going through such treatments, and also taking up a session on parenting for premarital course for couples.
THE DREAMS
I did my post-graduation in Physics in St. Berchman’s College, Changanacherry shortly after my B.Ed. training and my first job in Uttarkashi. I had been keeping a deep urge to change my profession. I wanted to go for higher studies to do PhD and I have even applied to appear for preliminary exams for Civil Services just before my marriage.
Though teaching was not my choice, I never let that uneasiness reflects in my classes or anywhere during my teaching career. I always made sure to be sincere in what I do and what I give away to my students. My old students get amazed when I share this story with them. Now, they realize why I had been advising them during their school days to choose your profession wisely and work for it.
I am grateful to God that all my students remember me mainly because of my strict and disciplined teaching. I am also grateful to them to allow me to a small part in their life and achievements. Truly speaking, their testimonies are also a great support and inspiration to move forward with this venture.
Since I always give more importance to family and also because my husband was employed in Muscat, I had taken a firm decision to leave all my dreams behind and lead a life with my teaching career in Muscat.
Though I was not able to maintain an impressive track record of professional accomplishments because of my infertility treatments, I was blessed to teach in different curriculum and different nationalities during that time.
MY VENTURES BEFORE EMA
After relocating back to Kochi in 2016, I have come into terms with the reality of not having children and I have decided to get myself engaged professionally.
At first, in order to accomplish my unfulfilled dream of changing career, I transformed one of my hobbies into a venture at my residence in 2017, a Boutique named Elisse. Even though it had an impressive opening and sales, eventually I had to shut it down in 2018 due to wrong planning.
However, simultaneously along with boutique, I was successful turning my teaching experiences into a new angle of giving personal guidance. I started with children who have got the fear of studying Physics, giving them counselling and turning them to be confident in life.
TURNING POINT – A NEW PERSPECTIVE
This new approach towards teaching helped me to realize my true call. I enjoy doing this and I started creating conscientious global citizens through quality education and empowerment.
Eventually, since 2018, I started my new career as an educator and life coach giving motivational classes and training classes for school children, IAS aspirants, teachers and parents.
Moreover, the thought of sharing my motivational talks on social media, I even started a YouTube channel named Elisse by Manju in 2021. At first, I uploaded the videos of my culinary skills (another passion of mine). Later, I dropped the idea of sharing my talks on social media since I wanted to have direct interaction with people.
I started thinking of a venture like this. That’s how the academy, EMA took shape. Initially I had planned to put different name. I even planned to change the name of my YouTube channel for this purpose.
My very good friends and my family helped me with this planning, especially my 8-year-old nephew who insisted me not to change the channel name and suggested me to continue with Elisse Manju.
In 2024, I have finalized with the name, Elisse Manju Academy & the logo and then started working on its structure. During this course of time, I was also blessed to meet many professionals who offered me with their expertise to be part of this venture.
MY EMA
There are many times, this journey deviated from its path because of some wrong choices and untimely decisions. Though I have gone through a tiresome journey on confusing and troubled paths, it was my spiritual connect that has always been holding me back on the right route. Each and every moment in my life is a blessing. With a grateful heart I must say, my life experiences always keep me grounded.
My EMA reflects all this journey which I had gone through, the lessons I learned, the values that has been instilled in me. It brings out hope in everyone by inspiring a change within, and that will help you to empower people around us.